Closing blog soon

Limbei see everyone also so buey song over blog. Limbei nthing to say sia, so make your last few comment on chatbox, i will close blog let everyone happy happy. Initially limbei make blog just want make everyone happy happy, now even limbei first ginna come back flame flame. Limbei no mood go on write already.

Pei Zabor

Limbei very long nvr come post or comment cause busy last few day pei ah sio go out shopping and hang out etc. Limbei 2dae finally free so decide come write a bit about what we did and give idea to the lonely bachelor out there find good zabor asap.

Maybe next post limbei will do guide on how to treat zabor etc but now limbei juz describe what happen that night after the 93.3fm confession.

After limbei go on air talk all the jiao thing out, ah sio call limbei up say she appreciate limbei so sibei manly and brave. Say willing to go out, the limbei think sibei long cannot have idea. Limbei whole day go around find daiji sibei easy, come to zabor turn ah gua no idea already. Then limbei go search internet, in the end went to www.guanyinma.com. Spent 50buck find the most zai tailsmen and print out burn and drink with milo(cause the tailsman say milo=best) then sit there stare. Suddenly, limbei see guanyinma in front telling me sibei lot idea( limbei will share the idea next time when free). From those idea, limbei choose the go picnic plan, sound sibei good. So limbei 2nd day first time go some Shop N Save buy ingridient then buy the picnic package got all the sai needed. Then 2nd day go pick up ah sio go marina barrage picnic, sibei romantical. Limbei wun say the details cause limbei used my secret weapon and limbei need privacy etc.

Then then then limbei sibei song cause after i song ah sio go home, call her, she say this weekend go out again sia, then limbei cannot think new idea sia, then no more budget go buy tailsman and drink. So come blog tolong reader give limbei idea sia.!

Eh, can those fucker at my chatbox mai come bark everyday. Limbei 24hrs nvr check tio like 3k view and many flame and like thumbs up in the chatbox. Limbei also dun noe happy or be sad. But one thing sibei chaos to limbei, limbei starting create this blog to make entertainment for everone(So those dog at chatbox, this is a joke box, dun come say limbei face kukujiao or simi niao hua, or sing simi bird), but now everyday limbei see view keep increase sibei happy, summore see the dogs barking at chatbox, make sibei sibei LOL.

Limbei decide this time dun want go flame flame again. Limbei want thank to all my reader(Positive or Negative), especially to my loyal ginna, LIU HAO and HELGA! You guys have so far make limbei's holiday sibei interesting and somthing to look forward to everyday. Then for those mata kia or those flamer, limbei nvr scold or blame, can only say you guys also good, make limbei laugh sibei a lot.

For those kia that limbei see your post sibei interesting or worth remebering, limbei will make a post at the end of my posting life and add all the chatbox content to a post let you guys read next time when free again.

Keep up the positive feedback and negative flames, limbei like seeing all the chatbox and look forward to it everyday. Bottoms up and cheers

-Gerald Limbei!

To the "you know who" kia, first limbei must say i oso dun want to go jiao that ah gua. Limbei blog go smooth smooth he come find his own daiji. Then too bad le sio. Still talk like some big fuck till limbei go see profile and picture. If limbei dun settle him, how get respect from other ginna? If limbei even scared of a chao ah gua? So bo bian too bad liao lor to the ah gua kia.

Loh Yen Jing , go fb plead limbei like dog, then limbei can consider take down post.

Replies & Rant

@Big Jim: First, Limbei sibei like your name. Limbei appreciate your thought want come serve limbei and brothers but u must think carefully sia, u join limbei gang already mean will auto tio daiji with other gang sia. If you sibei got ball, limbei welcome you, if nt  dun come find gang, u sure die bloody. Btw, 3mins make maggie mee no big deal, limbei can 2 minutes but ur other limbei jealous sia, so zai.
@Nerd Boi: U make limbei ROFL sia. Limbei see you sibei funny so oso dun want waste my finger strength type a whole paragraph of pai kia here settle you. Limbei shorten 1 paragraph to 1 line. If you really so want come find daiji, juz leave handphone number or facebook link here, i will entertain you all the way.


Then ytd limbei facebook talk with some fuck nerd come here talk niao hua( Complain limbei use simi picture of his, so what if limbei use, big fuck?) Somemore ask him prove dun have, simi fucktard lai de) with limbei make limbei sibei dulan. Then limbei sent some brother to check on him find out he some chao ah gua. Then also got reliable source say that ah gua retain 2 year. What a joke sia. So limbei decide make a wanted list for limbei blog and decide list him as number1. If got brother see him real life, juz settle for me. Limbei will reward you be vice tao eh of TXT and limbei sumpa give 10.000 dollar from limbei own pocket. Here is the picture of him. If need more close up photo, leave comment, limbei mail you A3 Size photo keep in pocket. @Helga, if possible help me do some advertising on this hao lian kia.

Limbei Sensor to not get limbei fren into this daiji

Tiong Xim Tang member, rmb this name"Loh Yen Jing ". Still threaten limbei do simi dog sai? Bark Bark bo yong de lar, ah gua, learn to grow up face society. 

If got member got a lot JI one can help me call up say hello:96144677 or 82498829( Limbei nvr pay my brother enuff, so info nt beri accurate). Help limbei sent a few msg can already, Haozai, treat this as sms for the president charity help limbei sent a few greeting thx a lot.

Look carefully, next time if got see on street. Help limbei say hello, we sibei friend de sia.

Limbei last time gang video

Ps reader sia, Limbei try like 10hour still dun understand how upload music sia, so in the end bo bian just post sia.

To ah sio

Hi ah sio. Hope you reading this post now. Limbei got sibei a lot thing tell you. You know since first day in chao yang secondary school, limbei see u already know you 100%+chop must be limbei zabor. But since that day, everytime limbei want ask u out, turn ah gua then no ball ask you, so limbei keep go around jio ah lian ditch ah lian to make u jealous and come to limbei. However, so many year, we still normal frens so limbei decide use this blog as chance to ask you out. 


Ah sio, limbei know you keep tell me what want a prince charming, tall, handsome, fit, rich, kind, gentle, loving, care for you. Limbei know i might not be the perfect kia for you cause limbei short, ugle, scrawny, poor, rough, rude, whole day talk pai kia dig ear, dig nose, dig every hole. While you are are pretty, smart and almost prefect(Unless compare to FHM cover girl), i am nothing but a gang leader of a gang with no future.


Now limbei sumpa in front of all limbei's reader, I might no be perfect and suitable for you now. But limbei willing do more than other people do. People do 1 hour, limbei do 2hr.


Limbei might not be tall...
But i willing to learn play basketball grow tall


Limbei might not be handsome...
But i will go find more ah gua extort money go korea do plastic surgery


Limbei might not be fit...
But i will go chase more ah gua, play more blockcatching with mata to be fit
Limbei will even sign up to California Fitness $150 per month for euuu.


Limbei might not be gentle...
But i will go ah gua temple turn ah gua for you


Limbei might not be polite...
But i will mug ang moh dictionary for just you


As long as ah sio willing to give limbei a sibei small chance to show myself, i will go volcano mountain, down sharp river(Some dog chinese phrase, limbei china nt sibei good. Hokkien zai nia) to pluck that moon for you. 1 chance is all limbei ask for!


2nite 8.30pm 93.3fm夜玩场. I already make finish arrangement with pei fen lemme call up talk directly. Give me 2minutes of ur life for once and the rest is up to you. Even of you not willing accept Limbei, its okay, no pressure!


-Stay Happy: Gerald!

Replies

Wa seh, limbei go off a few day tagboard tio flood. To all those leave comment say limbei very funny or wat, limbei say a big "thankyou". Continue support, limbei want make blog more ppl read that that xiaxue kia.

@Jasper: Limbei only take glam photo after i go cut nice hair. So u want see more handsome limbei photo need wait limbei next time cut hair. But everytime, limbei hair a bit long, will get chopped off by parang make hair short and ugly again. So jasper maybe need wait long long then can see more handsome limbei photo.

@chaing: Alamak, limbei almost forget my VODKA department. But limbei dun like drink liquer, beer best cause when tio daiji can faster break bottle go fight. If hold liquer bottle, limbei cannot instant drink finish sia then cannot break cause too heavy. Limbei is tiger kia, not vodka kia but will open up new department let ppl apply.

@999: Mata department very impt for our gang leh, later you not zai enuff mata come raid us, we si liao. U need tell me why u think u suitable for the job like what can you do etc. I dun give a fuck whether ur dream job a not. Limbei dream job still want US president leh. Can boh?

@Head of police: LOL u sibei loser sia. Limbei make this blog, nvr tio daiji cause limbei got study law know simi can do, simi cannot do. U go fake police=against law. Mai dog lar, come warn me, later mata go ur hse knock u door, see you turn ah gua pee in ur underwear.

@Haozai : Mai keep change name, limbei drink too much beer brain tio cocked up cannot rmb thing very well, U change here change there everytime limbei need read from first post to try rmb hu u r. Btw, limbei dun care u rich a nt or simi sai. Zabor department=make zabor come read blog, simple. U rich go distribute flyer at the simi nanyang girls school or some zabor school make blog view++

@Helga: U nice sia, so zai at publicity sio. Rmb draw more around SG. Then u can go together with haozai to zabor toilet also draw. Liddat kill 2 stone with 1 bird. Sibei nice effec.

Mata tio chopped at tech whye

Siao liao, Thank you all reader, Muacks, limbei view finally 1000 liao. Chio chio thx a lot!

Today got secret pai kia meeting at Macpherson secondary school, limbei at first thought no1 know sia, then sibei safe so nvr bring weapon go talk talk with other pai kia over small daiji. We talk song song then limbei just about to leave that time, got people take parang come up chop limbei. Limbei sibei chua tio so faster hid behind bush then those cock eye loser nvr see limbei but limbei's main paikia commitee tio chopped and went hospital. I think soon we TONG XIN TANG and go have gang war(cannot fight already, fight not enuff) with other gang already, cannot gang fight. So ginnas, faster go train be as fit as limbei then we go settle all the daiji once and for all.

And those Sak Lak Kau dog getting more and more got ball already, today even chopped a mata. Fuck singapore getting more and more dangerous, Limbei tomorow will go LOP(League of paikia)meeting discuss with 369 tao eh over this case. Liddat go on limbei and limbei's ginna family tio chopped how? So limbei think of a sibei zai method make singapore more peaceful, Limbei trying get petition from at least 10k SGian then submit to LOP let tao ehs decide what to do. To help in petition, got facebook add limbei at gerald.limbei@gmail.com then like the petition post. Once the LOP see got enuff SGian buei song with pai kia's chopping, will stop.

Finally limbei decide go with the techno flow, make facebook account. Internet sibei fun sia, back in limbei day, whole day shoot "gun", so sian. now got facebook, wa seh, sibei siok.

Sibei LOL

Limbei see the . guy at my tagboard sibei retarded, limbei laugh till siao siao. I tot he report wat mata leh, come warn me, report stomp nia. Stomp is for the SG ah pei, whole day bo liao nthing do then go take all the guailan picture post on stomp. So what if you post limbei blog on stomp? Limbei got racist? Limbei got illegal boh? Mai then no1 will give a fuck about ur stomp post. Btw, limbei still need thank you. Limbei still trying way spread blog let more reader see, you help limbei do free advertisement. Mai think you cute or simi, come here act beng call limbei do stuff. U got JI come post somemore and leave comment best already, so limbei can track your IP and show you wat real ah beng do. Mai come here keyboard warrior, think limbei give a fuck shit?


Btw, how come limbei nvr see limbei blog on stomp leh? Come here talk talk nia? Lame dog mai come here bark next time.


Anywae lar, till now still got reader really think this is pai kia blog?? Plz lar, even a mental retard also can see this is a joke blog. If got people see already, beuy song, mai come here flame flame flame. Limbei dun really give a fuck about any shit. Buei song dun read lor, limbei nvr force tio anyone read. So tolong lar, limbei juz want have some fun, dun lame lame come here flame spoil the fun. 


If really got paikia buei song, come email limbei with reason gerald.limbei@gmail.com


@Liuzai and helga: Which head you want be? Must give me reason why you think you able to do it? What past experience and what do you think your talent are etc, like apply job liddat

Publicity Department:

Local Defense Department:

Entertainment Department:

Financial Department:

Fashion Department:

Limbei go Bugis

First, limbei need say something. Limbei see liuzai kia so enthu limbei blog so decide sent some brother track his IP and find out his real person. At first limbei cannot believe got ginna taller than his tao eh but after limbei see his picture, ai seh, limbei chua tio. Then limbei see ur facebook wall sibei touch, got help limbei spread blog. Then find out we actually got a lot mutual friend but limbei will not say to hu those ginna are.
Now those dog outside that actually plan to come blog kpkp better be careful, dun make limbei waste time track down ur IP or nt limbei will make ur life sibei fked up.
Then to the dog :X barking at the chat box. Give me simi dog name, mai act cute lar.  mai come here bark bark simi lan, u buey song mai come here tok cok. got JI go find real ah beng and settle. U beuy song limbei nvr mention ur gang sibo? Its because ur gang too small already. Want ur gang big? Go downtown east chop someone and shout ur simi tiong meng gou or fong hong san. After mata go catch u, limbei will respect you and think you some big fuck. For now juz stfu and go home drink milk.

Chill~~~ Now back to limbei's bugis trip. Today reward sibei nt bad sia, limbei went bugis buy a full set of tatoo shirt, sleeve, pants, next time go out find daiji sure got more ji to face other gang. Limbei went home and try on the shirt, sibei zai sia. If got ginna wnat buy, can go there bugis street 2nd floor, sibei budget also, can make ur look 10x more scary. Then can make ah gua see u run already.

After limbei buy shirt, limbei decide to go find the simi wat KOI sibo? Limbei walk so sibei long then finally found, then limbei tio WTF, the queue like sibei long, can stretch from sentosa to JB lar. But dun forget limbei is limbei, Walk up talk some pai kia into those ah gua JI, then limbei buy already. Taste not bad lar, but limbei still think waste money. Real pai kia dun drink KOI, must drink VODKA. Drink koi with a straw like ah gua. Drink VODKA from the bottle then look more pai kia, more like tao eh.

Finally a shout out to my DEAR LIMBEI post, if reader got any problem in life, want limbei give suggestion or help you settle. Dun need feel paiseh, limbei sibei bo liao want help u all settle problem.

And why so far still no ginna want apply for department head?? Limbei sibei sad sia

Limbei guide to not get bullied in School

As many of the reader have complained about, they get bullied in school and dun noe wat to do. So actually limbei want do guide on how to bully ah gua in school but decided limbei want be nice tao eh, help those ah gua in singapore have a fun childhood so limbei do this guide.


First before you start reading and hoping to find a end to your misery, you should ownself do reflection on why u got bullied at first. Limbei is a sibei big bully and i normally pick victim that fit in the following groups.
(1) CHAO AH GUA.The group that limbei hate most and will bully most is the ah gua in school. If you wonder what limbei definition of ah gua is. A ah gua is a guy who act sibei girl and only hang out with zabor in school. Limbei not jealous or wat cause limbei got b4 like 10 zabor, ah gua no big fuck. Just that ah gua is a disgrace to man. Another reason why limbei pick on ah gua is they usually sibei skinny and tall with a fuckface and bo ji to come find back ur daiji.
(2) MAMABOI. These kind is also a bit ah gua most of the time, they tuck in shirt all the way like scared their balls will roll away liddat. They always hand in homework on time and nvr hang out after school. These kind good to bully cause usually got a lot of money and wun come back for revenge so easy prey.
(3) HAO LIAN KIA. This kind Limbei also dun like cause limbei always biggest. They hao lian mean think bigger than limbei, so limbei need give them lesson. Most of the hao lian kia in school is talk big nia, no real action. Just go up shout sak lak kau, he wet his pants already. 
(4) TEACHER DOG: Everyone cfm got see b4 this kind of dog. Whole day in front of teacher act like dog liddat, then exam come beg teacher add mark. These kind of fucker limbei see b4 a lot. But when bully these people must be careful, you bully they cfm complain teacher so must do things that they cannot see. Limbei will talk more below.


Now that you all know why you are picked to be bullied, must know how to defend yourself. Cause limbei know the reader sure all skinny dog, cannot defend ownself phsyically. limbei teach you how make some weapon scare the fuck of ur bully.


I bet most people head of molotov bomb. Now limbei teach you how to make one real one. First you need some basic ingredient that quite easy to get in a normal secondary school chem lab. First get sodium chloride and let it undergo electrolysis(use electricity, school cfm got show experiment to separate water with a machine, thats electrolysis) to get sodium chlorate, this step must be fucking careful as sodium chlorate is highly flammable and will explode in ur face.
Next you need to get concentrated sulfuric acid, normal school one is 0.1mol, try get 1mol or 2mol. 
Finally, make a sugar syrup on ur own, add sugar to water and make it sibei concentrated till like glue liddat can already.
This is the fun part. Get a glass bottle, fill it with 30% sulfuric acid and 70%gasoline from petrol kiosk or ur father car. Wrap a paper or rag around the bottle and stain the paper or rag with sodium chlorate and sugar syrup. Just dip a rag in the solution and wrap around. Then you have a molotov bomb, throw on the floor and it will burn for 10mins. Dun need to light, how convenient!


You cant be carrying a bomb around with you as you walk right, so Limbei teach how make a simple taser gun. Taser is gun which release strong electricity that can shock a person instantly. Eh maybe limbei keep this one as secret, i got ginna srsly want, email me with reason, if limbei happy teach you the secret


But in the end if srsly got pai kia come kajiao your life everyday. Watever limbei say also bo yong, either quit school be pai kia or form your own gang.

DEAR LIMBEI (Q&A with you dear Limbei)

To all my loyal ginna or reader, if you all got relationship problem or want ask how be pai kia or want help on pai kia problem can leave comment at end of this post or e-mail limbei if want privacy at gerald.limbei@gmail.com. No joke email or nt limbei wun reply, teens magazine got dear kelly. Limbei ownself make dear limbei, must rmb start with dear limbei in ur email. Rmb state if you allow limbei to post ur problem a not. If your email is sincere and real, limbei sumpa help you.

Launch of different department!

Wa seh, limbei 3 day nvr check blog got so many comment at chatbox. Limbei see so many supporter sibei happy and will soon launch the different department.
@LiuHao, u limbei biggest supporter and make limbei very happy. But are the same guy as liuzai???
@Helga, limbei got free parang give you but must continue support limbei and limbei need ur particulars
@Karina, nice seh, another loyal member, come join lar, give particular, i put you in zai zai department
@Cindy, mai care others want settle you. Come join then we tgt brother sister settle problem together. Give your particular and area in box
@SeokYim, limbei see you think of limbei old friend, make limbei sibei happy think of old friend. U also same area as limbei sia, so limbei will make you big tao eh of some department
@Joanna, want join bo? Leave particular can join already, then when got daiji, ton xin tang will help you settle!
Finally to everyone, must continue to spread blog to your friends, share on facebook or etc! Limbei want jio tio 100k view on this blog by end of year. Support

Now limbei will launch the department before limbei run out of idea.
Our Ton Xin Tang will have 1 main department in charge of other small department to make it easier for limbei to manage and control. Each department IC will get a additional 1,000 each month as bonus and more if the department very successful.

Foreign relationship department:
In charge of going out and settle daiji with other gang. To join must have sibei a lot balls and can talk sibei good pai kia, ang moh and even yalam. Minimum need at least 5 year pai kia experience and pass in "N" level english or study English in ITE.

Zabor department:
Limbei already say find zabor very important. So limbei will make this department very important one, people that join have to think of many ways to find zabor join our gang. Limbei suggest can either go bugis distribute flyer or camp outside school give consent form. To join, mimum need at least jio before 5 zabor and must be handsome looking with sibei lot earring, tatoo to show off our gang power.

Publicity department:
People in publicity must help to spread the knowledge of limbei gang and blog and get other paikia to quit the other gang join limbei's gang. Then must do chio chio banner and paper to give out to people. If want join need prove to limbei that your art nvr fail if nt you can balek kampung!

Local Defense department:
This gang most hard to join and do stuff cause whole day go out hum tum and fight people. But limbei understand sure no1 want join so limbei will help pay for all medical fee to attract foreign and local talents to join. Minimum must get gold in NAPFA to prove yourself fit enuff to fight and run.

Entertainment a.k.a R&R department
Pai kia life sometime can get sibei sian one. So limbei make 1 department whole day roam singapore find entertainment for fellow paikias. This department sibei easy one, dun need brain, juz whole day find out where got open new LAN shop, new arcade, new restaurant, new KOI. Then help gang member find cheap lobang etc can already.

Financial department:
People under this department will have to help find chance to get money so our gang got money to fund activities and give money to some of our brother under financial assistance scheme. Limbei can give you some idea, can either go find LOP for funding or get government to approve flagday for Tong Xin Tang.

Fashion department:
Our gang not like other pai kia, no sense of fashion, whole day same skinny with slipper then with some shirt that write FBI(Female body inspector). Sibei lame lar plz. So limbei need jio people to settle our fashion and come up with a gang tee so we wear out that time people 1 look know we big gang wun come find our daiji. Then this department also must find out where to sell magnet earring and sticker tatoo in big amount so we buy in bulk that time cheaper.To join must prove to limbei that your fashion sense very zai maybe with a picture of all your clothes etc, but i prefer zabor for this department.

There you go ginna, apply at chatbox or comment at this post which department you want and state reason especially if you want be department head.

Pai Kia History

First, Limbei must say paiseh to all my reader cause limbei these few day a lot daiji, everywhere got problem, so bo time come post.

Today limbei will explain to everyone the history of Singapore's pai kia and try explain why these few day whole island everywhere got daiji.

Singapore mainly got a few big gang that the LOP(League of paikia) recognize. But got a lot smaller gang that some pai kia own self create but bo yong one lar. The LOP is a group made up 5 tao eh from the 5 big gang which include limbei me. The 5 big gang in Singapore are
Tong Xin Tang by Gerald
Sak Lak Kau by Ah Soh
MCLBCH by " Tao eh"
Ba Hai Tong by Long Kau
Gao Luck Kia by Ah Lun
But pai kia legend got say got another gang in Singapore called Qing Long Tang, their member left chest tatoo Tiger right chest tatoo Lion and back a dragon. Limbei nvr see b4 but rumour say they sibei imba, bullet parang chop oso bo yong, then their muscle sibei siao liao power. But rumour nia so limbei not scared go find thier daiji.

Every first sunday of every month, we 5 tao eh will meet up to have meeting and settle dispute over territory. Then Limbei remember the last meeting. Ah Soh buey song with Long Kau over some zabor thing, then both of them sibei dulan want hum tum liddat. Then after that Sak Lak Kau go chop Ba Hai Tong so maybe got reason sia. Then sometime we will discuss different lobang to earn money like where got open new school, can go hum tum ah guo ji to earn money etc. Sometime got discuss where got nice food which i think i will post a guide.

So now hopefully next time my ginna when tio daiji with other gang kia, u tell them thier gang tao eh name, they sure chua tio turn ah gua go home reflect.

Tio daiji with mata

Today limbei take train from cck to pasir ris, on the way sibei lot of mata. I at cck got mata stop me ask me question cause limbei wearing sibei a lot of earring look pai kai.
Mata: "Boy, still studying"
Limbei: "Ya, Hwa chong JC"
Mata: " Wa seh, HCI student so beng sio"
Limbei: " No lar, all fake magnet"
After limbei take off mata let me off.

Then go pasir ris see a lot of pai kai walk around like want find daiji liddat. So limbei decide need write guide for reader to safely travel to chalet in pasir ris and for my pai kia bros to mai get detain by mata.

Limbei guide to mai tio daiji with pai kia
To successfully survive when tio confronted by paikia, first must know reason why they come find your daiji.
Only got 2 reason. Either they recongnise wrong people or they juz sibei bo liao.
When tio confronted by a whole gang or juz 1 pai kia with or without parang do the same thing.
Step 1: Look at then and say gerald. If they diam diam mean they heard of limbei wun find ur daiji
Step 2: If they look even more angry. Then you need give limbei settle already. Either call them call 98893461 find gerald or take out i-phone use 3G come limbei blog call them leave number and name at chatbox.
Step 3: If they look at you think u very lame, heck care you. Then gd luck, limbei also cannot save you. you should try shout "se lau kao" sibei loud then hope mata hear come catch you. At least go police station better than tio chopped


Limbei guide to mai tio daiji with mata
Mata these few days need roaming the whole singapore major MRT, so those pai kia with a lot tatoo earring sure tio check or ask question. So pai kia must follow this guide to mai tio daiji go police station, waste money bail out.
Step 1: You walk out of MRT, mata come up ask " still schooling bo?"
Step 2: "no"
Step 3: "Then wat u doing now?"
Step 4: "Outside hang around with my limbei lor, If not sibei boliao at home"
Step 5: "Would you please follow us to police station?"
Step 6: "No thank you, my limbei say got mata daiji call mata find him, he settle!!!"
Step 7: " I see... So can i have your limbei number?"
Step 8: "You can either call him at 98893461 find gerald or use i-phone 3G go limbei blog and leave your  number and name at chatbox.","need specify you mata then my limbei will reply faster"
Step 9: "Thank you, u may leave now"

There, if you all follow limbei guide, Sure leng leng survive dangerously singapore!

Cheers
-Limbei Gerald

Thank you chatbox supporter

Thank you xiaolang and liuhao for supporting limbei be the best tao eh of singapore. Limbei will soon jio you all out to have a admission test, the test got 3 paper so i will do brief intro about the test format to let you all prepare:

Paper 1: Student practise and examination (SPA)
Each of you will have to pass a test. First, go bugis find some ah beng and shoot a bubble tea pearl in his face. Must tio forehead then count. Then you wait the beng come u flame his mother and father till he sibei buey song want hum tam you. Then u must run away faster than him or wack him till he cant chase after you. After that you pass paper 1.

Paper 2: Multiple choice question( MCQ)
A simple MCQ paper will be taken from any random school. Then if you score>50%= fail
After you pass this, must do another paper set by limbei, also very easy one. Limbei give u a few example.
After tio daiji with mata what do you do?
(1) Run
(2) Bribe
(3) Chop mata and run
(4) Go home cry to mother

When jio zabor what to do
(1) Rape her
(2) Impress her with real diamond
(3) Act cool and pretend you dun want stead
(4) Walk off and let her chase after you

Actually, limbei also dun have answer so limbei will ownself decide and see you song a nt to let you pass.

Paper 3: Long answer question
This one most simple, sit down write a story. If limbei think story good enuff to let me post on blog you pass exam.

After you pass all 3 exam, must sit together with limbei and do the swear thing in front of a computer showing www.guanyinma.com, after that we sworn loyal. Huever break, guanyinma will find your daiji. Btw, guanyinma is our gang official guardian because limbei say so


@ xiaolang, i think you suitable join my anal department, ur job sibei easy, juz take long spoon and anal those people limbei buei song with. He cfm sibei paiseh, turn ahgua and bo ji come out find our trouble. Once got enuff member join, i will officially start ur department.

Limbei emo life

Ever since limbei kabor tio chopped sent ICU, limbei bo gurl to jio out, life sibei sian. So today limbei decided to go bukit timah IRC find girlfriend and play lan.

First thing limbei go there see the "buei hao pai" gang ppl smoking outside so limbei jio them play dota tgt. Those fuckface can only smoke, no brain play dota. limbei bone fletcher 10mins butterfly, 20mins buriza mkb, 30mins down their fountain. Then they sibei paiseh and buei song come limbei computer complain simi disgrace them.
They make limbei sibei dulan, so limbei jio them go toilet settle. *********************. Limbei tio taupok and hum tam like fuck, so limbei decided go home do reflection and blog about today. I will do a guide to 1v1 later today

But limbei realise still got no gurl, so need reader to intro gurl to limbei. Sabo your friend and post pic in the comment page plz, leave number if possible, if limbei happy and jio tio, will make you vice limbei.

Wtf, Limbei zabor tio chopped

Fucking cbk, ytd limbei go with zabor go pub, then some fucking siao zabor take knife come up chop limbei girl. Simi jiaowei kia. Now limbei no mood go out with girl, chop untill so ugly

I think those siao siao chopper from some MCLBCH gang, bo ji take on the guy go jio girl to chop. Hope my ginna faster find them and settle them.

How to jio girl

"Behind every successful ah beng must have at least 1 ah lian"     By Limbei


Now limbei will teach you losers how to jio tio a zabor. 
Limbei's dummy guide to jio girl


Step 1: 
Pick the prettiest(or at least you think) zabor in school, dun need care you ownself sibei ugly or wat, limbei method sure jio tio.


Step 2: 
 When want to ask girl, must look as manly as possible. Limbei say look enuff dun need really be man. Must wear those sibei big magnet earring, magnet nose earring, fake gold chain, fake rolex, fake diamond ring and some shirt thats really vulgar. All these can go bugis $20 dollar budget cfm enuff.


Step 3: Plan A
Find some time when the girl is in a room with a lot of her zabor frens, best if the room got a corner. Try lure her to a corner by bluff her got secret tell her. Then this is the man part. Clear your throat, put both hand to her left and right(assuming she is stuck in a corner) against the wall. Corner her make sure she cannot run away. Then act very cool and say"Oi, want stead a not", then turn your head away from her. Then 2 things will happen.
Either she slap you and walk off or she juz chiong toward you kiss you. If she slap you proceed to step 4.


Step 4: Plan B
If you reading this mean you already 50% loser already, go listen to <superman> by 倪子岡 in hot shot(籃球火). After listening, hope you grow some ball and brain. So you need plan B which need a bit more money.
Go those pasa malam or bugis buy some sibei big diamond necklace(fake or real same effect).
Try to jio the girl out to some place near a dustbin. Later i will explain why.
Wearing the same manly thing, ask her " Oi zabor, want stead bo?", important to note that you must look very cool like you dun care the answer at all. At the same time, take out the necklace and try to put on for her. Now got 2 possibility
First, she say no or show any action that show that you are rejected. Now is the most important part, u act like the diamond necklace no cake liddat throw into the dustbin and walk off in her face before she walk away. Proceed to step 5
Or if you sibei lucky, she accept and you can happily ever after


Step 5: Plan C
If you are reading this=you are 100% loser but no scare, your limbei got method for losers.
Although limbei rather you juz go subscript 100years of playboy and go home pcc for the rest of your life, or go www.guanyinma.com and pray but if you want get a bit face back, read on.
First, go facebook create a new account, go google find a picture of a sibei chio girl and make it the dp. Then u go ur own acc and make this 2 account in a relationship. Then you can go around hao lian bo la lian. If your friend ask you jio her out, fake some problem say cannot, then don;t accept any friend invitation to that zabor account or not your friend will know its fake.
Then you got urself a stead but too bad you still need to pcc.


Hope all my ginna can tio a stead soon. Gd luck  -Limbei

Basic ah beng a.k.a pai kia skill

To those nerd maple dog out there, mai think pai kia so easy be. Limbei 12yrs old first gang fight till today nvr tio before any daiji cause limbei zai got skill so today limbei teach everyone how to be a good paikia.

Appearance:
Want be pai kia need look scary to scare people lar, piercing tatoo all must have for pai kia. But those scared pain nvm, learn like limbei liddat, wear magnet earring and fake tatoo. Go bugis $2 can buy already, limbei in school walk around with fake earring fucking got power oso no fucker notice. All those fucker at first try use strong magnet stick my earring, got a few time limbei paiseh magnet earring drop. Thn nxt time limbei smart use tape stick to ear, then those nerd fucker realli believe limbei got earring all see limbei kneel down pray.

Weapon:
Everyday walk around must bring a beer bottle. Bo beer bottle can bring sprite bottle but then your ginna will not respect u that much. Then when tio daiji, smash the bottle at some table make it break then swing bottle around scare away other people.

Shirt:
Shirt also wear untill got wind when walk past. I see a lot tao eh wear simi tight shirt think very cool, got simi use. Must learn your tao eh wear black then at night tio dai ji can run away.

Belt:
To be zai pai kia like limbei, belt must be very big. Big belt then can when tio daiji take out wack people, then those ahgua will runaway.

Walking style:
Mai underestimate walking, to be pai kia, walk need to pratcise very long. Now limbei walk past other tao eh, they hum tio zao lo. So must learn.
First, when walk each step must be big, when left leg go infront, left hand go behind. Most important is your stomach and head, stomach will try to point upward and body must be bend backward, then head must look up, eyeball lookdown on other people. However, if you like 150cm, then fuck off and get a life, you will never be a pai kia.

Balls:
Ball is a must have if not cannot be paikia, but balls also most easy to practise.
Go downstair and find some primary school kid, scold his mother and father till he cry. Wait his parents come, then scold the boys's grandparents. If you can do this and walk away in their face, you got JI.
But, those emo kids, dun want interact more easy, go find some HDB, jump off 3rd floor, if bone never break=got JI lo.

Running:
We pai kia whole day tio different dai ji need run, some time mata come chase us, we need run like some fuckers. If you want be my ginna, better go train ur 2.4km, make it under 10minute then can be good limbei ginna.

Start anew

CB, wait so long still no ginna want join?
Mai let limbei catch you read blog dun want join.
DUn forget limbei later trap your IP fuck ur life up, rape your mother burn your house

Mai say limbei some violent fucker, no brain juz balls. Limbei also nice guy, got heart, limbei giving free parang and helmet to the first 5 ginna that register, so later gang tio daiji those ginna wun die so fast.

Faster sign up then limbei can continue go find daiji with other gang.

Member list:
Liuhao:190 cm, 98kg, republic poly, long long PARANG
Xiaolang:178 cm 64 kg. boon lay market or Toa payoh .  Fork on stick 
seokyim: 173cm 57kg CCK area

Recruit

Welcome to www.geraldyourlimbei.blogspot.com

Limbei today suddenly feel darm sian. A lot of my ginna tio chopped by those 369 mother fucker. Then last month 3 of my brother act hero act fucker go chop people at downtown, people stare at them nia, then buey song chop simi lan lar. Now tongxintang from 68 brothers down to 26. Fuck lar, liddat still how to find other gang daiji. Limbei go tao eh meeting oso paiseh.

Now limbei fucking fucked up, so many daiji to settle, parang also all confiscated by police. Cannot go out rob people where get money. So limbei bo bian start blog to recruit ginna.

Those want support limbei leave your personal info in the comment. Do so in the following format

Name: Dun give real name, we pai kia need start anew, give fake name, make fierce name, dun give simi xiao ming xiao hua. Give some manly name, cannot think go www.ahbengnamecreater.com

Basic info: Rmb give limbei your real info such as height and weight so limbei can allocate suitable weapon give u use. Limbei now budget still a lot, got a lot weapon to choose, dagger, parang, hammer. Must also rmb tell me ur favourite weapon so limbei can go settle and buy.

Contact method: Best if can give handphone number so next time got member tio daiji can fast contact. If pager also can but singapore now beri hard find public phone, really bo bian go snatch some i-phone use reply limbei asap

Area: Every ginna must patrol different area, so tell me which area you live so limbei can allocate your duty. Those got a lot ji want tio daiji want choose cck or bugis, then can chop those 369 fuckers get revenge.

Bonus: If got ginna really want join tongxintang, can add other info so limbei will choose you first.