Disclaimer, all info in this blog are for entertainment purpose and a pure joke. All the story are fake one to let reader laugh. Do not take it for real and flame flame flame limbei. Just read and laugh. If you find it not funny or sibei unhappy with limbei's blogging style, please click next blog>> at top left corner.

Sunday, November 14, 2010

How to jio girl

"Behind every successful ah beng must have at least 1 ah lian"     By Limbei


Now limbei will teach you losers how to jio tio a zabor. 
Limbei's dummy guide to jio girl


Step 1: 
Pick the prettiest(or at least you think) zabor in school, dun need care you ownself sibei ugly or wat, limbei method sure jio tio.


Step 2: 
 When want to ask girl, must look as manly as possible. Limbei say look enuff dun need really be man. Must wear those sibei big magnet earring, magnet nose earring, fake gold chain, fake rolex, fake diamond ring and some shirt thats really vulgar. All these can go bugis $20 dollar budget cfm enuff.


Step 3: Plan A
Find some time when the girl is in a room with a lot of her zabor frens, best if the room got a corner. Try lure her to a corner by bluff her got secret tell her. Then this is the man part. Clear your throat, put both hand to her left and right(assuming she is stuck in a corner) against the wall. Corner her make sure she cannot run away. Then act very cool and say"Oi, want stead a not", then turn your head away from her. Then 2 things will happen.
Either she slap you and walk off or she juz chiong toward you kiss you. If she slap you proceed to step 4.


Step 4: Plan B
If you reading this mean you already 50% loser already, go listen to <superman> by 倪子岡 in hot shot(籃球火). After listening, hope you grow some ball and brain. So you need plan B which need a bit more money.
Go those pasa malam or bugis buy some sibei big diamond necklace(fake or real same effect).
Try to jio the girl out to some place near a dustbin. Later i will explain why.
Wearing the same manly thing, ask her " Oi zabor, want stead bo?", important to note that you must look very cool like you dun care the answer at all. At the same time, take out the necklace and try to put on for her. Now got 2 possibility
First, she say no or show any action that show that you are rejected. Now is the most important part, u act like the diamond necklace no cake liddat throw into the dustbin and walk off in her face before she walk away. Proceed to step 5
Or if you sibei lucky, she accept and you can happily ever after


Step 5: Plan C
If you are reading this=you are 100% loser but no scare, your limbei got method for losers.
Although limbei rather you juz go subscript 100years of playboy and go home pcc for the rest of your life, or go www.guanyinma.com and pray but if you want get a bit face back, read on.
First, go facebook create a new account, go google find a picture of a sibei chio girl and make it the dp. Then u go ur own acc and make this 2 account in a relationship. Then you can go around hao lian bo la lian. If your friend ask you jio her out, fake some problem say cannot, then don;t accept any friend invitation to that zabor account or not your friend will know its fake.
Then you got urself a stead but too bad you still need to pcc.


Hope all my ginna can tio a stead soon. Gd luck  -Limbei

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